Return Policy

You can return a shirt to us anytime within six months of purchase. Used or unused, it doesn’t matter. If you’re not happy with the shirt, we’re not happy either. We’ll refund the price of the shirt, AND we’ll reimburse you for the shipping back to us.

Acceptable reasons to return a Smart Torso shirt include:

  • Spouse doesn’t like it
  • Meds wore off
  • Sense of humor dramatically altered through hypnosis
  • Ordered shirt because you heard that it was shipped in a pretty box. Box wasn’t adequately pretty
  • Astrologer recommends that you limit yourself to clown outfits
  • Bought it for the rapture, but when Jesus returned to bring the elect to heaven he said they had a jackets-only dress code, so you’re off the list
  • Papercut got infected, so 50% of your torso had to be amputated; shirt doesn’t fit anymore
  • Attractive members of the opposite sex are constantly asking for your phone number, and you’re sick of all the sex that wearing Smart Torso shirts is getting you
  • You didn’t like it

Just email

to give us a heads up, and send the used/unused shirt to:

Smart Torso
ATTN: Returns Department

8585 S. Scottish Dr

Sandy, UT 84093

Along with your name, email, and order date (if you still have it).

We should be able to figure out how much you paid for shipping from the postage mark. Also, please specify if you’d like to be reimbursed via paypal, mailed check, amazon.com gift card, wampum, intergalactic credits, or whatever fancy way you’d like.

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SmartTorso is closed.

Hello! This is Jim (the guy in the pictures). If you came here to buy a shirt, sorry to disappoint. This site no longer accepts orders, but you can still browse around and look at the designs, jokes, or email me to say hello.

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